Pre-21st birthday anxiety. The lame kind. :p

At time of writing, my 21st birthday is like.....ONE day away.

Yep.

How do i feel?

Sleepy actually. Hahaha. I will hit the sack soon, just thought i'd write a little before going to bed.

I've always kinda thought I'd have a pretty awesome 21st birthday party. With nice food, everyone a little dressed up, nice ambiance... not a massive group. Maybe like 30 people or so? People who are important to me, known me a long time.

Eh. But i don't think anything like that will be happening though, cos i didn't ask my parents to throw me a party. I think its awkward to ASK for a party. Its like, very shiok sendiri. :s

So....i'm kinda sitting here thinking: Now what?

Such a weirdo i am. Hee.

No, no. Don't get me wrong. I'm not expecting people to throw me a party or do stuff for me. I'm not emoing or getting disappointed over anyone or anything. I just kinda wanted to do something fun cos it seems like everyone gets to do sthg fun on their 21st. :p peer pressure kot.

Jason is taking the day off for me. :) Which, thinking back on how much i used to get mad, cry and complain about how he never spends time with me or take me out...is a very awesome gift to me. Its been aeons ago, but he kept his promise and i'm realizing only now. And i'm happy and excited for this wednesday.

I HONESTLY don't know what will happen this 8th June.

I don't know if there'll be a partayy.

I don't know what i'll be doing.

I don't know where I'll be going.

...it would suck to have a lousy 21st wouldn't it?

I feel stressed that my expectations won't be fulfilled and i end up emo-ing.

Padahal, i don't even know what my expectations are.

Such a complicated (or retarded?) individual I am.

Don't Care.

Imma enjoy myself. Have fun.

....and worse comes to worst, there's always 22nd birthday, 30th birthday, 40th birthday.....

Zzzzzz.