~JoAnN LiM~
Feelings are splitting both ways today. There's the good and the bad.

Lets start with the bad.
The bad thing is i am in deep doodoo when it comes to my studies. Particularly PRST (Public Realation Strategies and Tools), MNG (Malaysian National Goals and Programmes) and Psychology. These three subjects out of my six subjects this year, i understand little next to nothing.

So to put it very bluntly, I'm screwed.
Assignments, midterm and worse, FINAL EXAMS. I don't know what i'll do. Memorizing is great but its impossible to do so if u dont know what ur reading. To top that off, my memory isn't that great unless i understand the subject.

To make things worse, i HATE my PRST teacher because she is a total...uuurghhh!
Okay, maybe i always judge people and thats y i hv so many ppl i dont like but seriously. She is sarcastic, arrogant as hell, RUDE, disrespectful and NOBODY understands what she's teaching but she talk like so big only. And act like its our fault we're not doing well in her class. Hello, is she going to wake up and change her teaching methods or continue behaving like a spastic little plastic? If you want to continue rolling your eyes and acting like you're always right, thats FINE by me. But if nearly everyone seems to be about to fail our midterm, what does that say abt you? Behave however you want as long as you can TEACH. We're the ones nt paying attention? If you teach PR then u shd know how to use tactics to get the message across wouldnt you? But no, u have to act like ur PMSing for the last 30 years, roll your eyes and strut off with your ginormous hips.
Yes, i'm over-insulting because I DONT LIKE HER.

I really........don't like her.

RARRRR!!!!!!!!

I dont know la....im just really worried about my studies right now. I dont want to have to resit or repeat any subjects... =(

______________________________________

On the good side, i'm having a lot of fun with my friends. GIRL-friends. That is mainly Jessie and Stephanie (hazel comes and goes). They're real fun la. Somehow i still hv this flashback of stephanie singing "Glory glory Man United..." in my head. Xp

"Actually you sing that song quite nice la...but you dont sing nicer."

XD

Kz has gone back to his hometown for a few days. I wonder if Kc is lonely without him. Should be lo. Cos its 10.40pm and Kc says he wants to go to sleep ad. Today he even brought Kz's notes to lecture becoz he missed kz and wanted to feel the touch of kz's notes by accident. =p

Kz, come back soon. Your friend is very cham without you. Have to hang out with me, jc and steph everyday. Luckily got alvin. I cham also, hv to fetch him. But now so few of us we can tumpang Jessie's car for makan. Whee...Bring back durian kay. Btw, you sakai. Left us when have to hand up MNG and English assignment. What la...


Anyway i'll be having a presentation tmr for public speaking class. I hope it goes well la.
Excited abt wearing formal tmr. (vain pot). =p

Nitez



~JoAnN LiM~
To my best loved, (at the risk of sounding cliched) : i love you.

This song is for you. =)

~JoAnN LiM~
Had my PRST midterm exam yesterday which i am 99% sure i failed. I'm guessing about 90% of the entire course failed it too. But thats not much of a comfort. I am immensely worried about all my subjects basically cos there's so much to memorize. But memorizing doesnt help one bit for case studies. So yeah....was really down yesterday.

Then yesterday we had our english debate as well. Our title was "Should English be used as the medium of Instruction in the Education System". My team won that as the opposition, though there wasn't much to brag about cos the other team wasn't that fluent in ENglish la. I mean, they would've kicked my ass inside out if it was a chinese debate. But it was a fun experience though. I didn't get emo or anything cos i was the last speaker and nobody would be speaking against me.
KC and i were so nervous. We were talking the lamest stuff and laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world. Nerve wrecked.

Anyway, this week will be a very demanding and tiring one. I really don't know if i can cope. I really hope all the assignments make it great on the deadlines and the other exams go well. I don't think i can take failing another. sigh.

Yes, i know i need to work harder.

Still in this greyish mood. But i dont care la. If anything else isnt working out, i dont want think abt it. I really dont. Do as how you like.
~JoAnN LiM~
Been some time since i posted some pics so tadah. Here are a couple of candid pics i took of my college mates. =p

Enjoy.
Jessie
She is very very very chubby.
Just look at those fishballs weih. wootz.

Jessie, Hazel and Stephanie.
Bunch of girls i sometimes hang out with now.
They are really really funny. =)



Umm....no comment.

Look at my blinkin spastic face. XD
Totally candid.

SO LENG ZAI.
Girls, what are you waiting for wor?

Another HOTTIE.
God blessed me with such attractive friends.
Siiigh.

Can this face get any hornier... Xp
"Hi...can i have your number...?"
Gaaawd... hahahah...

The love of Kz's life.
Its a sugar glider. Adorable hor?

So irresistably cute.
But guess what they named it?
Fucker. =.="

*grins*


Gold digger caught in the act...

Awesome right. XD
~JoAnN LiM~
I was facebooking today and decided to check out what my ex-classmates were up to. And while browsing through their photos i had this..sort of a self pity moment.

Its like, all the girls look so different now. They grew up, look absolutely gorgeous in their prom dresses; while the guys have all gotten so much more....well, masculine. And you can see them studying at these big big colleges, photos of them looking immaculately hot while going on outings with friends, special events.....all that stuff. They're so...different.

Then i look at me and i feel like....

Well, i feel like a kid.

I guess its kind of like they seem too have everything going on so perfectly in their life. They're rich, great looking, popular, lotsa friends, good at studies...
I feel so much an opposite of all that.
I feel.....inferior.

Gosh.

Sometimes i think i like to act as if i'm better than other people but the truth is, i know i'm not. I realise how extremely flawed i am and i know my life doesnt exactly portray "Successful, happy teenager!!" I think and behave like a kid most of the time and i really dont like that. But how to change le? You cant just say i want to be matured and poof comes maturity.

Zi Bei.

And i've been thinking a lot about my relationships with people and i KNOW that i really really have to treasure whatever few friends i have. Really really and seriously seriously.

Oh and btw, i now mix with three other girls in my class as well besides kc and kz. They are really really funny to hang out with and when all of us start talking crap....whoa. Gone case. Been enjoying myself the past two days. Fun sial.
Will post some pics we took later on the next post maybe.

And the topic of first love came up in our conversatioon today, so just for kicks i cyber-stalked my first love on facebook. LOL. Kc says that the only person who can destroy marriages are the first loves. I can understand why...but i dont think i'll be stupid enuf to allow that to happen. (Walao, sound like i married d rite?)

Speaking of relationships i gave a lot of thought on the importance of trust in a relationship. Because i am a freakin freakin JEALOUS and even more POSSESIVE person, i have many times gone into arguments over "special girls" in bf life.

And after much thought, i realise this: Asking my boyfriend to stay away from the girl (as in stop seeing her, stop hanging out with her, etc) i not the solution because even if he does, there will always be another new girl in the future. No way he's only going to hv guy friends ONLY right.
This is because the underlying problem is not "the special girl" but our relationship itself. Problems like he is not attentive to my needs/ feelings, he hasnt spent much time with me, we argued a lot lately....all these will go BOOM when sparked by something small like him going out with his friends. Or him talking to another girl even. The smallest things can get pretty nasty la because the resentment is already present and unresolved.

My solution would be for me, the jealous one, to find out what is really bothering me and learn how to truly trust the person i love. The boyfriend on the other, needs to figure out how to prove himself trustworthy and also how to talk to his girlfriend. It would help to reduce interactions with any outside girls for the time being but avoiding girls completely would simply be sweeping problems under the carpet. Plus the guy would feel angry for not being trusted and resentful for being controlled by the gf rite? (I think guys would la)
So, thats my theory. =p

And anyway, i told this theory to my bestie and the conversation went like this:

Me: *tells of the whole "trust and jealousy theory"* .....so basically the girl needs to accept it for herself and learn how to trust her boyfriend lo.

Bestie: Hmmm....true true.....it is totally okay for the guy to go out with girl-friends. Girls really need to be more understanding. *eyes gleaming*

Me: !!!! .....if you dare go out with another girl i'll kill you.

Bestie: But what about all the things you just said?

Me: Things? What things? I got say anything meh?

Bestie: ............


Wheeheehee...cakap saja. It is absolutely true but in real life, very hard to do. XD
But whoever said being in a relationship is easy? Sure got to bite the leather sometimes.

Long winded la this post. :s I have to think of a speech topic. Need to hand up tmr. SIGH.

Cheerios
~JoAnN LiM~
*sheepish look*

I got into an argument online with some unknown girl in facebook. Heh. Ok la ok la. I admit, I picked the fight first cos dunno, maybe i was irked or bad mood or something. But it was kind of entertaining...in a way.

The whole thing started innocently with this photo....


And then somehow erupted into a mini scale war. :p
Here's the comments la.

Joann: eh, its meee!!! Didnt tag me one...

Kai Chi: forgot ad lo

Xxx: Oh dear, aren't you a pimp.
(and the spark in the gas is lit...)

Kai Chi: Xxx~ WTH? What does pimping gotta do with forgetting?

Xxx: It doesn't. I meant you're a pimp in the picture...
(if Kai Chi is the pimp then that makes me the...........what that horrible... *this is where i get annoyed*.)

Joann: i dont appreciate that comment.
(the war begins cos joann lim is memang seorang yang sensitif... ;p)

Xxx: Well, I hope you understand sarcasm? & I guess this is why I don't comment on typical Malaysian's pictures. They're too freaking straight forward. Live a litte.
Hoh!!! Look at her answer. How can anyone not want to shoot such a bitchy reply. Nothing about her previous comment is sarcastic lo. And what exactly is a "typical malaysian"? Whats not good about being straight forward? Wanna be crooked, long winded, have lots of hidden meanings and "sarcastic" is it. Dumbo.......

Joann: then dont comment la in the first place. :s Sheesh.
But i answer very politely la of course... ^^

Xxx: Well, I didn't think Kai Chi was a typical Malaysia. And 'la' isn't a word.
So kai chi is an abnormal malaysian...? Which brings us back to question- what is a typical malaysian? And that is such a pathetic comeback. Sure sure, poke on my english. On my malaysian-ness.

Joann: LOL. I dont think anybody cares whether la is a proper word or not. We "typical malaysians" will keep on using it anyway. Live a little. ;)
*sulk* bimbo...

Xxx: Well anyways Kaichi, when did you turn into such a ladies man/pimp? haha

______________________________________

okayy... Now, let me vent a little more. Im not sure if she's aware that:
A pimp (pronounced /pɪmp/, also called fleshmonger or Pander)
finds and manages clients for prostitutes and engages them in prostitution (in brothels and on the streets) in order to profit from their earnings
And so a pimp is not really equivalent to a ladies' man if thats what she was trying to bring out. Maybe thats the "sarcasm" she was talking about. Ha. Ha. Ha.

And whats with the 'la' is not a word la?? Who cares...?? Nobody gives a puff of air about that bcos 'la' is so much a part of our daily life that it has in some way become more than a word. Its an expression. It can carry so much more meaning than a single PROPER english word by just changing the tone of it. So, go eat on that I say. Cos really, nobody cares if you dont think la is a word. We'll use it as we very well please.

What is a typical malaysian anyway. I dont get it. And an atypical malaysian then? Perhaps someone who was actually born and raised in malaysia but thinks the west is so much "cooler" and once they migrate there they think they're all high and mighty, and so much more SUPERIOR than those "typical malaysian" who constantly punctuate their sentences with la le lo lu and god knows what other atrocities to the english language?

Or is she just someone from another country, another culture who thinks its fun to look down on other people's culture?

Babi betul.

Kai chi, my dear abnormal malaysian, im sorry for tembaking ur friend. But she's just too charming la. ;)

................BUT IN SPITE OF ALL THAT, her stupidity, ignorance, thinking she is better than everybody attitude I admit and i confess that all of it was actually my fault because i was over-sensitive. She probably did not mean that i was a whore. And i should have just.....let it go....

*meditates in peace while harmonizing with nature*

I kinda realize i shouldnt pick on and overanalyze every small little thing anyone says or does cos thats just crazy. Not to mention i'll be angry all the time. I also need to learn to be the bigger person and step away from a fight if its really insignificant.

Plus, i know i'll never have the guts to actually scold a person like that. In face to face confrontation, my brain basically just shuts down and refuses to retaliate in any way. Which is good since i get upset at A LOT of things. I dont end up getting in fights everyday then.

Sorry again Kai chi. ^^ Maybe she's actually a very nice person. Inside.




I will not pick anymore fights. i will not i will not.

And KZ's reply when i said i picked a fight with a girl online was very =.=".

"Eh, eh, eh!! I argue with this girl online lo!!"

"Why? You try to steal her boyfriend ah?..."

(=.=)"" zha dou....I NEVER tried to steal anybody bf ok!!!
Sakai....

Cukup la Joann. Stop being so childish d. =)
~JoAnN LiM~
Ching ching ching!!

Wokay, i know, blog has been very very abandoned but there hasn't been much to update about honestly.

Right now, am in KC and KZ's house waiting for my next class which is at 4. The two have gone to times square for movies so im just crashing the place, using the comp and taking great care not to open any "special folders"that you will generally find on a guy's pc. :s

Assignments have already begun last week so i have been doing a bit of work. A bit busy la lately. Psychology class is making me really worried cos its so much like bio, so much to memorise and its kind of boring. I need help with Personality Theories le cos i hv to cover that on my assignment but i dont know what its about.

BORING.

Moving on, i need to get a job cos my mum isn't working anymore. Its going to be kinda hard la money-wise cos in the first place i already dont hv enough pocket money. Now only my dad working then sure not good la. I get RM50 for one and a half week. RM30 is already used up on car petrol, so only RM20 for my allowance. I need to work but at the same time where am i going to find a job that will not interrupt my study time le?

Hmm....problemo.

But at the moment, im feeling pretty carefree la. Hee.

Thats all the updates for todayy.

Ta!